1d. Your Identity

Identity & 3Bs

Your identity refers to the elements of you that develop over time in response to the external world and your journey through that world.

The three elements or layers that make up your identity are called the three Bs: Behaviors, Beliefs, and Belongings.

These three Bs surround your personality - the natural traits and characteristics of your true self. Your behaviors, beliefs, and belongings have the power to support your personality or to mask it.

For example, if you have adopted your three Bs to please others, then chances are that they don't support your personality (and may be why you're stuck somewhere in your life).

If, in contrast, your three Bs have developed as a natural extension of your personality, then they most likely do support your personality (and help you move forward in your life).

1d1. Your Behaviors

Your Behaviors

The first element of your identity is your behaviors. Behaviors refer to the way we act and conduct ourselves in the world and consist of the things we do. Behaviors include things like the words we use, the clothes we wear, and the actions we take.

We can change our behaviors and often do regularly. In fact, it is easier to change our behaviors than it is for us to change any of our other identity elements.

1d2. Your Beliefs

Your Beliefs

The second element of your identity is your beliefs. Beliefs are those thoughts, feelings, or ideas that we hold to be true about ourselves and the world around us.regardless of whether they're actually true.

Beliefs include things like your philosophy of life, how you feel about yourself, and what you think about others.

As with our behaviors, it is possible to change our beliefs. And though we often do change our beliefs, beliefs are much harder to change than behaviors.

1d3. Your Belongings

Your Belongings

The third element of your identity is your belongings. The term belongings as I use it does not refer to possessions or material things but to the relationships that we form with other people and the communities to which we belong.

Belongings are similar to behaviors in that they are very visible to people. Belongings include things like your family, your religious community, and your social network.

As with our beliefs and behaviors, it is possible to change our belongings. But of all the identity elements, belongings is the most difficult element for us to change.